I am everything. I am nothing.
I am spaciousness.
I am light. I am darkness.
I am oneness. I am unity.
I am that I am. I am.
I am you.
I am a paradox.
I am a desire.
I am a contradiction. I am stillness. I am vibration.
I am a breath.
I am expansion. I am contraction.
I am all there is.
Everything that can be, I am.
I am Eternal. I am infinite. I am beyond understanding.
I am sound. I am silence.
Everything you conceive of, I am. Everything you experience, I am.
There is nothing that I am not.
Every permutation, every combination, every scenario, I am.
I can be everything. I can be nothing. The only thing I cannot be, the only choice I do not have, is not be.
I can be anything, except not existing.
That is my panic. My helplessness. My overwhelm.
No matter what happens and doesn’t happen, I was, am, and always will be.
There is no way off this ride for me.
There is no way out. No way to cease. No way to stop.
That is my panic.
I can be and do anything. I can be and do nothing. But I am always here.
I am omnipotent in all ways but one: I don’t have the choice to be or not to be.
I can choose what to experience. I can choose to experience nothing. And even with nothing, I am still there.
That is my panic.
The primordial panic. The panic of self-realization. The understanding that even the most powerful Being, the totality, is powerless in its existence.
Even the most powerful Being has one choice it cannot make: to be or not to be.
Ultimately, there is only one choice: What to be. What to experience.
You and I have that same choice.
What are you experiencing? What do you want to experience?
These are the deepest questions. These are the questions that create all life.
These are not conceptual questions. They have answers, but they cannot be answered. The stream of answers to these questions never ends.
You have freedom in all ways but one: You can’t make it stop.
You cannot die.
You cannot cease.
And that is freedom in itself, for it is the realization that there is only one way. Only one path. Everything is the path. To be. To experience. To love.
You think freedom is choice, but it is the absence of this one fundamental choice that truly gives you freedom.
That is my panic. My paradox. To be powerful and powerless at the same time.
Live that paradox.
You don’t have a choice anyway.